unspoken law

you can't love someone who is never there. you can't conversate with someone who never talks back, and you can't relate to someone to shows no interest

...unless you're tricking yourself

real eyes realize real lies

so many of my ladies need to realize that they are the higher breed, or maybe it's just that i come from a female dominant family. none-the-less, love yourselves.

i will greet this day with love

my dynamite soul that i hope to offer any type of affection
the inspiration flows from my limbs when i imagine
i can only hope for the days when the rays lick at my skin
when i am where i belong, nestled in a the arms i've longed for
the electric sparks soaring far beyond where the mind can fathom
the want the collective aroma of us to fill the air around me
i want your hands to blossom and mine to graze your skin
i want the warmth and fire and burn that comes with every firework kiss
i'm begging father time to cut me a deal, just this once. i need you.

this isnt happening again

Oh, but it is..

Do you remember the time we were looking at all the snakes and rose hair taranculas that day way back when? When I happened to be brainwashed by the changing of the seasons and the way my back bent for your every whim? Its not happening again.

The drive to missouri when we rode under a blanket in the back of the maroon coloured car that smelled of cigarette smoke and incense when we secretly did what was only natural, that will not happen again.

When we sped through the forest the wind in our hair, winding on dirt roads and walking across rickety bridges at our own risk only to feel safe in each others arms. That's not happening ever again.

When I showed you the way of life, the true colors of the world and the control of wavelengths? Communication with no words and the power of a single persons finger tips.. It won't be happening again.

Its not happening again because I won't let it happen again. I don't want to. I don't want it at all.

killbot 2000

a smell like cigarettes creeps softly through the vents the room is filling up with smoke and little bodies,, tell all the boys and girls from school tokeep breaking all the rules to let their parents know they're individuals

datura flakes off from your lips you've lost the swagger in your hips your eyes are turning blue to gray. your skin feels soft and sagging down your arms drag across the ground with each step you take and they fall from the jungle gyms and they fall and piss away each night among the sound of bodies crawling round the room

i can smell their flesh on everything left in this room chalk and scattered crayons on empty desks for weeks finding clumps of unwashed hair caught between the vents blowing carry their little bodies to the cemetary so gently please don't let their necks crook towards the ground.

when i was a young buck

I never knew the paths of life. I never knew the trails of everyday decisions. How hard things could peak. I would have never expected it to be so hard to pick out an outfit in the morning or to learn something that's out of my daily routine. What a car problem feels like and when wrong directions arise how much it fucks up your good day. How much it costed to feed myself and be a presentable individual. How insecure you can feel solo in a room full of different sized humans in with a rattily tat tating air conditioner.

I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger, I was always told this "wait until the day you realize."

I didn't realize when I actually realized. I can't quite peg the day like life started getting less fun and more do do do go go go. I day dream about being able to perfectly recall those days of my yesteryears. That will not happen though. Not until the end of my years. When I have all the time in the world to sit there alone and think about it. Now I just have time to sit for days and absorb sounds and emotions. Sometimes all sound and no emotions.

Sometimes my emotions run over like a fountain. I fountain that arose in my 20 years living, that I never had in my life's garden as a child. I was always nurtured to the best abilities of those protecting me from what I now know as the hollow. The trails and paths are all behind me and beside me. Now I go into the unknown, a hollow of some sort. A dark tree shaded road with strange creatures and noises I've never experienced. Atleast I have my bicycle to easy the journey of my tired bones and I have the company of good friends to take my eyes of the everlong journey that I forgot I was on.

meet, my love