Tuesday, April 15, 2008

bad dreams bad dreams bad dreams

I've been blogging silently. With invisible keystrokes.

Yeah, that's it.

My laptop is broken, and I'm considering sending it off into the nethers of Craigslist to become somebody else's problem. A new one is on its way, with the help of my lovely grandparents for college and the refurbished stock on the Apple Store. Yay. Maybe that'll kickstart blogging motivation with ease of posting. I've been doing lots of other things...writing, studying, enjoying my awesome friends, cooking, "adventuring" with Kyle (in all aspects of life, and according to my fortune), reading, grad party shopping (tiki theme is where its at).

What are you doing reading this blog? There's a whole world out there. Its sunny and filled with delightful things... To explore, to invent, to try, scantily clad women, all-clad men, wayward ideas, pointless but amusing activities, worthwhile experiences, and lots of other mismatch adjectives, nouns and verbs. Go string some together and come back when you're too tired and the internet is your last resort. Or stick around too. I may actually write something of substance one day soon..

But, I'm not into the idea of leaving you hanging so I will fill you in on my current barrier of life. I'm starting school in August and forceably am being moved out of my lovely house and pumpkin smelling, yellow room. Although, this might not be the case if FAFSA doesn't cover room and board for me. Cross your fingers with me. I don't want to work full time. I have been working super hard, brainstorming daily, and thinking of every possible option for my senior activity day's group theme. The list thus far is:

- flower bed (this includes vegetables)
- boats
- decades
- Crayons
- hippies
- and most likely the winner, 50's track team. Lolz

Sunday, April 13, 2008

fake nails, & a can of hair spray

this weekend was definitely one for the books.

Friday. April 10. 08

after days and days of trying to get ahold of Kristin, and thinking that she could very possible be reported as a missing person she texts me basically explaining that she had been in "the slammer". Apparently she was in a holding cell with a young woman who was convicted for murdering her daughter. The only reason Kristin was in there in the first place was some bullshit reason like: she violated some rule of not telling authorities that she was moving into an apartment by herself after thirty days of getting off of some form of warning shit. i have no idea. im just happpy that she's alive and that i get to see her this weekend. After finding out that one of my bestfriends is still alive i drive over to Plainfield to get Marcie. When she hops in the car she goes "i have a suprise for you." It was the kills- ura fever burnt 17 times onto one CD. Id died laughing. We head to IU because of little 5 (the biggest party weekend of the year in Bloomington). You have no idea how many funny moments i was involved in. I sware to god, Kieth is like the missing character to the office. He was walking around in purple boxer briefs and a black v-neck t-shirt the next morning with a hangover, and Marcie and I start cracking up. He followed with the response of "Dont laugh. John has the same undies." hahahha! Then i laid in bed with Beth and laughed about all of the stupid shit we did the night before. There were tons of annoying people at the party(ies) but, I managed to have a damn good time. I was once again the entire night picking out sick jams for people to jam to. Tim liked my music choice and periodically would start screaming the lyrics in my face and start jumping on the couches. Bummer that i got no pictures of this amazing night.

Saturday. April 11. 08

I leave Bloomington a little late and miss my hair apointment, so I managed to find alternate ways to get my hair to look extremely presentable, hence the "can of hairspray" in the title. There will be pictures added later. I looked like a well polished princess when i was completely done preparing for prommmmmm. Totally didnt think that i was going to look as stunning as i actually did. I drove to Kyle's to take pictures with Jimmy and Abby, this proceeded as everyone thought of every, single, possible way to take a picture and all combinations included. My mouth was unable to smile after this session had finished. We drove to PF changs and on the walk down the mall hallways to get there i got about 19 "daaaaamn"s from numerous black dudes. Kyle claimed that they were talking to him because he looked so sexy. LOL. The best part of the meal was the sm'ores in a shot glass for dessert and my fortune which reitteraded was something along the lines of "you will have many pleasureable jouneys and adventures to come." translated to: "you're getting some tonight and its going to be amazing." lets just say that i now believe in fortune cookie fortunes. Once we arrived to the prom itself, i was slightly dissappointed, just like last year. Until the first time that Kyle and I slow danced and it all was so surreal and i forgot about everyone around us. Abby and I also slow danced, and everyone laughed. Needless to say, Kyle did not win prom king. He'll always be my prom king though. We left a half an hour early and listened to sufjan stevens in his back seat.
After prom was hilarious, I got my palm read. Kyle and I boxed which resulted in me flying against the back of the wall and getting my helmet knocked off. I ate my body weight in food and Bailey and I said "hello __" to everything all night. Example: (Bailey and Leann are getting food) Leann: "hello, chocolate covered strawberries." Bailey: "hello, chicken fingers." Ryen gave my his ipod shuffle and I didnt even ask for it. The night was just all so perfect.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

eyes like a casino, i aint born typical. I'm a fever.






Currently listening to: the kills- ura fever

Not to be trashy or anything, but being added into the life goals is to have sex to the song I am currently listening to.

Teh jams of now:

- looking back on middle school
- Bailey Marie Trent, and the fact that we have the same middle name.
- talking to the ladies at regency and how siked they are about me! Mmmme ME me me
- being nicknamed the toothfairy. You will never understand the initial feeling. Mad lol
- my prom dress
- my prom dress being the last in my size
- the fact that I saved Kyle $130+. He loves me
- comeback kid lyrics. No shame
- spending $300 on 2 outfits and not feeling bad about it.
- v-neck shirts, not wearing underwear or bras
- walking barefoot to catch fireflies
- being in broadripple. Always
- talking to kristin, Rachel, Bailey, and Marcie about sex. Not trashy. LOL
- late night text sessions
- my dresser overflowing with luxurious make-up and jewelery
- Bahamas withdraws



All in a week.

Today I convinced Ethan that "I'm stuck to you like a band-aid ." is a cute line for a poem that I was helping him write for I'm girlfriend.

Today I also discovered how fucking ready I am to start my life. Outside of this drama, with a more grown up appeal. Yesterday I ran into my old friend Allison, she is graduated from Roncalli and is going into the navy. I guess I could see it coming, the types of people we are shape our future. I couldn't be more proud of her, and the person I am. A lyrical minded, free soul, who just wants to showcase the world with her eyes. My appetite is so huge for something more than the settled mainstream idea of graduation and life afterschool. I'll see you all on the news. Enjoy your lives. On with mine.

Monday, April 7, 2008

sick in my skin

I've never felt more ill at ease, or like I could get an instant ulcer in my life. Directly after vacation my world (still in the process) is coming unglued.

Person 1: YES! You annoy me, okay! I can't stand you anymore. Its not that at one point that was any different, but it would appear that now all of the life has been sucked out of the connection. Good or bad. I know the timing couldn't be worse, and I'm alright with that. I'm sorry if you're not.

Person 2: god, I forgot how much I missed you. Thankyou for the call yesterday. All four hours that I talked to you made everything make sense to me. I know what I need to do, I mean I knew it all along. But, like I said yesterday, I have a hard time even admitting things to myself sometimes. I still love you, thankyou. Please don't leave me now.

Person 3: I know that I've only known you the entirety of a week, but there is nothing that I would rather do right now than dig a tunnel to your window. Just drink more wine, and laugh more about all the things we used to know. All the boundaries and barriers that we crushed in the matter of hours I wouldn't take back for all the luxury I own. I would do it all again if given the chance, with all the outcomes

Person 4: you'll never leave my life. I know you won't. we've been inceperable You're both equally crucial in my life, but are pretty much the same person. Thankyou for always putting extra light in my day, waking me up when I need it. Oh, and of course watching me put lotion on all summer in nothing but my bathrobe.

Person 6: you're one of the most important people in my life, although you might not always think this or believe me. Just think of all the things that you helpef me overcome this summer, when I would call you and pour my heart out. You would just take it all in. I wish there were more people like you in the world, and I'm glad that I was lucky enough to stumble upon you. All the SIGNS that brought us together are still evident.

Person 7: after all the tears I shed for you lastnight I still can't feel any sort of emotion today from being so numb yesterday. After you poured your little heart out to me, I couldn't to anything but shake, and feel hot all over. I just needed a drink and silence. You still don't understand, you never will. You were being selfish, but I do love you. Everything you said you meant it, and everything I said.. I meant it too.

Friday, April 4, 2008

goings on.. going ons.. goings ons?




Well, I am currently back in the states. The Bahamas were, to say the least, phenominal. I will to an outline of my vacation before I catch you up on my great day in FL yesterday and not-so-great day of driving today.

3.30.08- On the first day of the cruise the only memorable moments are 1) the informal dinner in the extacy lounge and getting to know our waiter Damir. He was/is from Croatia and was the only waiter on the boat from Europe. Everyone else was Costa Rican, Asian, or American. I got the best filet mingeon and strawberry bisque. Ever. 2) I went to the singles meet and greet with no intention to meet a dude, only to make friends. I met a group of girls from southern Flordia and we hit it off. One of the girls(Hilary) complimented my peace sign necklace and then pulled her hair off of her back, revealing a huge black peace sign. Lolz

3.31.08- The next day of the cruise, I woke up in such a good mood because I fell asleep to an array of great music including:

Snow patrol- shut your eyes
Willy Madison-save myself
Beastie boys- off the grid
The polyphonic spree- running away(lyrics)
Rooney-when did your heart go missing
Matt costa- Mr. Pitiful
Ryan Adams-halloweenhead
Tegan and sarah- back in your head
Jack Johnson-if I had eyes
Graham colton-best of tonight
Nada surf- whose authority
Blake Lewis- break anotha
1997- garden of evil
White stripes- you don't know what love is

And because we had officially landed in the Bahamas. Luckily for me I went to the shopping ashore program the night before and knew where NOT to go, to avoid getting ripped off like the typical tourist. This day totally more memorable than the day before. I got hella pictures of the ocean and myself on the ocean, which a couple should be on this entry(just phone pictures). I went shopping in freeport and got the loveliest dress, a tye dye shirt, hand made jewelry, a patchwork purse, and jars of ocean water. All over price coming to about 200 bucks. Guh. The taxi ride to freeport and the beach was quite the experience. Since the Bahamas are in Britian, thus 'the British Isles' everyone drives on opposite sides of the road. Its a hard concept to grasp and extremely scary when you're making a left hand turn into on coming traffic because you insinctly think left hand turns must be clear both ways, Ha. The beach in freeport was beyond incredible! I got totally burnt and had a full head on beach hair upon leaving. The beach was full of nice, friendly people and I legally bought my first alcholic drink. It consisted of vodka, blackberry and pineaple juices and had a mango-ish taste to it. My mom bought one too, because she liked mine so much.

4.1.08- woke up in Nassau, Bahamas; home of Atlantis/paradise island. This was the main day of the trip, and might I add, that everything went swimmingly(yes, this was meant to be a pun). We started off the day by taking a taxi to cabbage beach, the beach recommended by the bohemians themselves. It ended up being beautiful, as you can see for youself in the pictures. I went into the ocean to try and snorkle and got THRASHED! The waves were of epic proportions, and I got swallowed in one and as I would try and recover from the other would get crushed by the weight of another. It was a battle between myself and the ocean. If I were anyone else I would have been pissed, but I have an endless love for the sea. I went jet skiing after I layed on the beach for a while and was able to get most of the sand out of my mouth. By far, the radest, illest, most thrilling thing I did. Skirting around on the waves, crashing against the water, the mist hitting my cheeks, and wind in my curls was brilliant. I heard "shut up and drive in my head" the entire time though, I must admit. Haha! Then when I returned to my towel on the beach, ironically Damir was at the beach right about my towel. Out of all the vast miles of beach he decided to set his towel right about mine, what are the odds. Since he was my only friend I knew at the beach other than my sisters, who where nowhere to be found we went on a walk and got a couple of pina coladas. Cutely placed in coconut shells, TEE HEE. We chatted for a while then I proceeded back to the ship to get ready for dinner and the mix. At dinner, coincidently Damir was our waiter. Again. Strange. Ha. We decided to go to Atlantis later while we were still on the island and had nothing better to do. We caught a limo to Atlantis and I collected great confusion in my way around the massive building. We got to walk down tunnels while surrounded by sharks, and I actually gambled! Woo! Then we went to the beach and looked for sea shells. I never realized how cold the oceans breeze can be at night. Then I headed back solo to the ship because Damir had a graduation party with his fellow crew members at some bar in downtown nassau and I wasent really game at 3 in the AM. In the entirety of this day, I would like to make it known that I never once realized that it was April fools day. I guess I'm the fool here.

4.2.08- we set sail to come back home, I didn't yet realize how shitty of a thing that actually was. This day technically a day, but not a day. The only good.. Well great thing about the day has to be the fact that my mom got me drunk on mango and melon margaritas. Then I went to see curves, a Broadway musical that was basically a bunch of naked girls and fellas running around on stage. This was an amazing combo, me being drunk and all. I witnessed an ice sculpture be carved, all I can say is if I ever tried that it would be fatal.

3.3.08- back in the states. We docked in port canavral and we followed through with our plans to hit up universal studios. On this day I was, to say the least, miserable. With all of the $700 spent, water rides and rollercoaters I remained an unhappy brat. Walking around in the hot city of Orlando and being constantly pushed and pulled onto rides was just one big blur to me, when all I wanted to do was be back on the Atlantic. Now here I am on my way back to indy, depressed as shit, and writing about how lovely my trip was.

I think this trip couldn't have come at a better time, Damir and I discused this a bit and I think I'm going to skip out on college for a year, go to beauty school, become a cosmetolgist on a cruise ship and travel the world wherever my heart desires. I think it will be good for me.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

setting sail

I recorded my trip down to FL in a notebook since up until this point I've be trying to waste as much time as I possibly could.

Friday, March 28

It has begun, 7:50

Thank god for Jared, he has managed to keep me sane for a majority of this trip so far. This is the first time I've forcably had to been in a car with Tim as the driver. Let's just say i'd rather go play with thumb tacks. I've been able to bite my tongue, solely on the fact that today is Tim's birthday. Not that he's already annoying enough.. But, today he HAS to be right about EVERYTHING. If I hear one more of his lame high school stories about how cool he USED to be, or Jill blaring another rap song loud enough for the whole car to hear I think I may hurl. Maybe it would be a wise investment to pick up a paper sack at the next convinence store.

Edit: 9:45PM

Just left the convience store, needless to say, no barf bags. I did manage to piss my mom by being in front of her in line for the restroom and acting like a spoiled brat, and not listening to her "only water in the car" rule. All the people in line probably figured that Jill and I were huge snobs. She said she was going to jump off the side of the cruise ship and that my mom "brought it on herself" for not letting us get vitamin waters. She did anyways, but I still got a fiji. As I was walking out of the restroom I looked at my mom and said "it smells like aids in there, be careful." the lady behind her laughed.

I am on 4 tbsp of cough syrup, so I'm peacing out.

Saturday, March, 29

Last day on the road, 10:45AM

This morning I woke up at 8 in the AM to shower before everyone else. It was nice, I used all the conditioner. Now my hair smells like orange tea. It stormed all night when I was asleep, so when we walked out of the hotel it smelt like fresh rain and all the white blossoms on the trees were full and amazing. That was my cue to send everyone a text that said "welcome to Atlanta where the players play!" lolz. We had breakfast at a random waffle house, how appropriate for ATL. I got a BLT and hashbrowns.. Still appropriate. Our waitress said it was her birthday, so I wished her a happy birthday. Who would work on their birthday though? I guess you'd get hella tips.

When we we're sitting at the table Jill said that "sleeping with Danielle was like cuddling with a horse" because of her legs. I couldn't swallow my chocolate milk to that. We made good on the laughs at breakfast, here in GA all the billboards are twice as tall and it smells like the dirty south. Thank god it is no longer Tim's birthday.

Edit: 2:30PM

We just left a little hole in the wall bbq restraunt in southern, GA. Its like a different world here, no one gives a shit about anything and its just like the appeal that the movies give off. We had the cutest waiter, he was a total push over and my sister and I were crashing jokes so harsh on him. I laughed so hard that sweet tea came out of my nose and my year ducts involuntarily started watering. I got a good documentation of this place,sooo many hilarious pictures.

It's 83 degrees here and we're all down to our tank tops with the windows down. Praise flavored propel water, smart phones, ipods, sunglasses, and victorias secret shorts being so damn comfortable.

Today, Sunday, March 30

Boarding today, 9:26AM

In about 4 hours I will be on the cruise ship on my way to the Bahamas. I smell like a giant pineapple and Orlando is beautiful right now. Wish me safe travels! I'm going on a walk, since its so lovely here.

Monday, March 24, 2008

come circumference, come circumstance.

Summertime life:

1) Test drive a car, with no intention to buy it.
2) skinny dip in someone elses pool.
3) get the cutest shoes ever
4) go to cali, and rage at s&f
5) go on as many roadtrips as I can
6) go on a church retreat
7) make a huge breakfast
8) wake up and not care about anything for a whole day
9) make a friend from a different country, minus James, and preferably Indian
10) not sleep for 2 days, and stay awake on javamonsters.
11) ride my bike, everyother day.
12) have a picnic in a random field 45 minutes north of indy. Preferably knightstown or the bridge under the highway in speedway.
13) shoot fireworks off the billboard by kyles house.
14) not go home for a week and if needed live in my car.
15) stay in Boston for 2 wks.


This Sunday was the first Sunday in my life that I've ever driven myself to church. By all means, I am not complaining. Something happened to me Friday night and I'm not really sure what; but I am not ashamed. I cannot deny it. I was saved, and I am getting baptised as soon as I can. I've never been happier in my life. I said a praire over the Easter brunch yesterday for the family, I gave money in the offerring, I honestly understood the pure meaning of Easter. I'm not meaning to rant, but I will not boast of anything but the cross of Jesus Christ, and my new found love of life. I've never been more proud of a personal choice that I made. I'm starting to do things that I used to look down on, and be a person I used to turn my nose up to. Now, I am Leann. No better than you, i'm making so many new friends to stick by mr on this new venture I have begun for myself.

Yesterday, for Easter I got: a new camera, tons of chocolate, nike goggles and a jansport beach tote bag, two $25 gift cards, and a new sundress for the cruise.

I can't wait. This Friday I will be officially on my way to the Bahamas/British isles. Then my mother told me lastnight that for graduation she will send me anywhere in the United States, round trip for two weeks this summer. That also made me even more anxious for it to get here.

Currently listening to: Scott Coner- indepedantly recorded