right and wrong

Things that are both right and wrong interest me. You take a coin and flip it. Headlessness doesn't cease to exist when tails prevail. It's just the other side of the same equation. We've chosen one angle as dominant, and decided to pursue further action based on that outcome.It's not as easy to see the duality in a coin. Well, it would be easier I suppose if it landed on its edge, but that's not a state we consider permanent. When a coin lands on its edge, we look for it to fall. We don't consider its 'work' to be done. It is still in the process of deciding whatever is riding on that toss. Perhaps another example would be better. There's the story of the elephant walking West through a crowd of people, who are lined up on both sides. The watchers marvel at the elephant's enormous size. They whisper to each other, pointing out the details of the beast. The South side overhears the North say that they love the rich red color of its skin, reminiscent of a setting sun. This angers them, because the elephant is obviously a deep sea blue. Why must the other side tell such lies? There is enough beauty without fabrication. They admonish those who see red, and now they too are angry. Why must the South pick fights when they are enjoying the earthly majesty that walks before them? There is enough drama in the simple truth. Reality is a two-tone elephant, as a road crossing would reveal.We do this all the time with words and communications. Most times we walk away, letting the elephant wander and none of us the wiser. Sometimes the awkwardness is realized, and it just hangs around in the air, seen but ignored by some, if not all.


In my actual life aside from being philisophical, I'm in a rut. A great rut actually, a rut that is worth $19,000 and has tiffany's engagement ring written on it. Although, this rut could be completely false and I could be the root of a very cruel and sick joke. I'm hope I am, actually. This is the epitamy of sick feelings. Fuck my life.

calm it downnnn

LEANN: Happy mother's day, Mikey.
MIKEY: Thanks, my kids appreciate me.
LEANN: I know I know.. Wait as in plural? When did this happen! Thought it was just the one..
MIKEY: Nope I got countless faggot kids across the country and in paraguay

perhaps, the song that was made for me

War, war, war
Talkin' about y'all's such a bore
I'd rather talk about moi
Like do you know the cost of AK's up in Africa?
20 dollars ain't shit to you
But that's how much they are
So they're gonna use this shit just to get by
Is gold, diamonds helpin' ya?
Don't you like my bandanna?
My stains hang low
On my shirts like a-ya-ya
Monkey brains and banana
I'll hit you with my antenna
Put soap in my eye
Make it red so I look raaw raw raw
So I woke up with my holy Qur'an
And found out I like Cadillac
So we shooting till the song is up
Little boys are acting up
And baby, mamas are goin' crazy
And the leaders all around cracking up
We goat rich, we fry
Price of living in a shanty town just seems very high
But we still like T.I. we still look fly
Dancing as we shooting up and looting just to get by
With your feet on the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head'll collapse when there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself, where is my mind?
Where is my mind? Where is my mind?

War, war, war
Who made me like this?
Was it me and God in co-production?
My devil's on speed dial
Every time I take the wrong direction
All I want is one thing
And that is what you got
Sometimes I go lose my mind
And I feel numb
There's 24 hours in a day
I used to split it 8, 8, 8
8 work, 8 sleep, 8 for play
Now I give it all it takes
People on the Internet
A new life for the intellect
People judge me so hard'
Cause I don't floss my tea set
I was born out of dirt like I'm porn in a skirt
I was a little girl who made good with all what I blur
I put people on the map that never seen a map
I show 'em something they ain't ever seen
And hope they make it back
With your feet on the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head'll collapse when there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself, where is my mind?
Where is my mind? Where is my mind?
With your feet on the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head'll collapse when there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself, where is my mind?

rate this song, email to a friend

I am alone but adored
By a hundred thousand more
Than I said when you were the last
And I have known love
Like a whore
From at least ten thousand more
Than I swore when you were the last
When you were the last high
You were awake
And I should've stayed
But wandered
I was only out for a day
Out for a day
It was Chicago for a moment and then
It was Paris and London for a few days
But I am alone but adored
By a hundred thousand more
Than I swore when you were the last
When you were the last high
When you were the last high
I was the first to have spoken
And I said just about
All of the things you shouldn't say
So maybe you loved me but now
Maybe you don't
And maybe you'll call me
Maybe you won't

ohhh calamity.

I realized that when I disgust myself I write. And drink. A combination of the two results in the jumble of words below and poem called "running with raindrops" the raindrops are metaphorically my tears. Just another reason that I wish I lived next to the ocean, so that my tears would seems smaller next to the ocean.


Yellow?
Ew, purple.
Coffee?
White Russian.
Vanilla?
Too plain. Banana.
Deoderant?
Chai girl.
Bath?
What am I 5? No, shower.
Padidle?
Hope, pudinkle.
Tacos?
Burritos.
Cleanilness?
I love filth.
Organization?
Not so much.
Kids?
Gag me, please.
Dinner?
Brinner.
Super man?
Captian planet.
Memories?
Thousands, babe.
Music?
Indie, jazz, the fast, the heavy.
Silence?
Chaos.
Oh calamity.


"Running with Raindrops"

Raindrops fall on my face
As the pounding of my feet
Rings through my ears

My timing is quick as I run
To a beat
My heart, it pounds
Making me feel weak
But I will keep

R
U
N
N
I
N
G

No matter what
The reason is "fun"
And starting off
Like a gun.

Practice makes perfect
We all know its true
But this needs
Nothing besides
A motivated mind
With a heart that is
True

Closure on you. On this. Renovation to my personality. To my minds eye.

You're not talking to me, are you?

I'll never forget how today smelt. I spent it all outside, like crushed nuts and spicy. The spicy came from Hannah. Bailey and I witnessed an old lady beating her husband with a plastic bat in the back yard. I think everything is made better for men. This is also from me and Hannah. She wants me to stop including her in everything. My face is demolished. I finally drank black coffee. If you don't wash your hair for three days it stops smelling bad and starts smelling good. I guess u've got some more healing to do. This Friday I added more character to myself. What should I pray for now? Bigger boobs.. Yes! Jill just drank Indian pain killer. Hannah has an ipod? We can all three fit on a moped. Its true. Serious zone, our mother is a nun. Who cusses. Is that kosher? Hannah is now Christine, but I don't feel like changing her name through out this blog. I'm going to smash my car into a hill. on purpose. Some accents are ugly, especially when you here them singing ugly songs. What do I want to breakfast? I fucking raise my hand for everything. Why? What if what if what if didn't exsist. The world would be a totally different place. That's it, I'm going to buy a sleeping mask. These people need me. I'm going to start communicating without words. Maybe even in the dark. This seems a lot easier. I'm also going to learn how to play with fire. Professionally. And travel the world. I'm over it. Maybe I'll be someday be lucky enough to get a disease.

Everyone is talking...

but I don't hear what they're saying anymore. They're just an echo of all that I'm leaving behind.Today it was like the world was staring. I couldn't break it. Though I tried, with so many extra words. Misunderstood. I could tell by the eyes.It's no matter. It could rain here, I won't know. I'm off to less clothes, more sun, a new life, and new relationships. Hoping to sink off into the ocean like a stone