sink or swim?

a toast to all that is whack. Cheers and fuck this shit evermore.

Somesuch problems have arisen in the matter of hours. Not-so-classy cars, inreliably fathers, college and the like, lesslessless sleep due to nothing but a middle aged man living in my house named Tim. He doesn't deserve a title like stepfather.
This morning was not like lastnight or yesterday for that matter. Not even in the slightest, actually it should technically be an anti-yesterday. Lastnight was a mixture of entertwined bodies and sweatpants, yucky weather and romantic kisses. It was nice. Even before I left work my supervisors son cooked me this amazing thai soup. Rice noodles, these Korean spices and oil, and beef strips with onion. He was still on the clock so it was no problem for him. But, I reaped some killer benefits.

This morning I woke up to yucky weather and sirens blasting though my window, there wasent enough time for breakfast or coffee, and my dog had thrown up in my door way. I'm guessing this had something to do with her nerves and stormy weather not being a good combo.

As to the rest of my life: this weekend I'm planning on making the drive up to carmel to see paulz on saturday. She found this abandoned house and blackberry messaged me pictures of this place. I'm more than amped to go there saturday, the paranormal interests me on so many different levels and by the looks of this house 1) there is a reason it is rundown with no up keep and 2) I'm sure there is some kind of "behavior" there. Stokedstokedstoked

I'm a little worried though since there was currently a murder reported in carmel and apparently all the schools and town is on lockdown. I'm worried that the one time and place that we decide to go to this fella will be hiding and waiting.

So I started thinking about the illusion of safety. Safety isn't a thing, a tangible. It's a quality, a state, or an action (even though it's technically a noun). I am safe until harmed. The moment I am under immediate threat of harm, I am no longer safe. I no longer possess the quality of having safety. In all fairness to myself I was logical and decided if I were in his position I would kill me for discovering him. I mean he had killed a women, which is why he's in that position in the first place. Why wouldn't he murder paulina and I as well? Fuck it, I'm still bringing the stoke to this place.

I feel a tid bit spoiled tonight, but I'm totally embracing this feeling. I got a grand total of 3 new outfits and a t-shirt for the cruise in March. I can't wait to the sun beating on my face through the bay window as I wake up and to the seasick nights, endless buffets, and 24/7 baithing suit mania. Listing of le new items to the drobe below:

1) Ralph Lauren khaki shorts with button pockets and an orange Ralph Lauren short sleeve polo.
2) fossil dress, navy and paisley with a green hem at the bottom.
3) American apparel white, v-neck T-shirt. Shortsleeved.
4) urban outfitters train stripped purple shorts with flap down pockets and matching purple tank top.
5) American eagle bleach wash skirt that folds up at the bottom, with a lacy grey tanktop and white flowy spaghetti strap to layer.

Fuck ya alls.