I cried lastnight. I took a shower in my clothes. I fell asleep to coldplay; the whole shah-bang.
It was a disheartening night, being pushed away and picked apart wasent even the issue. All viewpoints aside, I know where I'm coming from. Feeling you so close to me; from my manicured toes to my baby hairs, I felt the love pour out of my ears. The smell of strawberry papaya fully in my nose, the TV blaring comedy central, the warmth of your skin. It was all so gentle and we were our own audience. I cried lastnight, because in the heat of the moment. In the fury of the fight, my mind started racing and thought of the turn everything had taken due to our decisions and the scope of your influence. I had let myself fall. You claim to be unstable, but damnit you make me sane. You say we'll fade away, but you knowingly compare me to things in your life that have faded away. That WILL give you a pesamystic view, no doubt. You just always choose the wrong opportunity to correct and inform. I cannot hold it against you, its not all your fault. If you have the opportunity to set the bar higher and challenge others, do so! ..I suppose
I have assumed the position that I took knowing that this would most likely faulture. Now, I'm not so sure. I don't appreciate that you second guess everything I say to you though. I don't want a factual relationship, I don't want to be saddened everytime I speak. I don't want to feel compelled to walk away, or hang up, or scream. I want kisses. I want the love to keep pouring from my ears.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
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