off the wall

After reading my good friend Michael Steinborn's blog, I was inspired to write a blog on literacy and some of the things I say that are not proper English. By no means does this mean I will stop saying them, I just dont get inspired as often as I should by others writing, and mikey's was very clever and whitty. www.mikexindy.blogspot.com


*The infamous: "MY BAD"

Tonight after much thought of the subject of my unproper English I birdwalked onto the topic of adjectival ownership. This is seen in the phrase 'my bad', where the 'bad' is being possessed. It's an interesting concept, although terribly unproductive, as I couldn't think of any parallel constructions (other examples). But in joking around, I came up with 'my good', 'my sad', 'my pathetic'. I thought most were laughably ridiculous. But, as I was texting Mikey informing/congratulating him on the inpiration I thought, hey! their bad is my cool. As in my cool new construction that I will insert into sentences when it seems clever to do so, without drawing too much attention.

A lovely example, that I know all of us have done once in our lives or know someone who is a victim of this: the your confused with you're.

Jim: your neato
Leann: ugh, fag.. you're*

And this my friends is a very foolishly clever way that we may see adjectival ownership come to our possession in the near future. All those misspelled contractions and mis-taken possessive pronouns and be-ings...they too may one day be your neatos, our cools, and their dumbs. C'est my bueno.

*Next topic in the hopper: "FUCK MY WHOLE LIFE"

First of all, in this sentence it would seem that the word "fuck" is an adjective. Which is most definatly is. Just like in any other scenario, or phrase. For instance when A) a command is being made more urgant (fucking, hurry up) B) intercourse (let's go fuck.. Again.) UNLESS, one is being called "a fuck" or you are using the word "fuck" to A) show a more significant amount of passion in a sentence (the dude was so fucking strange) B) show utter confusion (what the fuck?) C) or show excitement (holy fuck!) then it is being used as a noun or verb. But, never once could something as vast as life. The entirety of your existance be used properly with any of those examples. It is the ultimate example of how not to use the combination, so there is no other way of showing this to you. Especially considering the fact that I throw in the "whole life", I mean it doesn't get much more unproper than that.