Sunday, January 11, 2009

excerpt from my journal

Jan 9th newthousandnine

Its been a while since I've written. I've been seemingly busy with.. Life and stuff. I cleaned my life out. Got to know myself a little better. I wasent even planning on it, actually. It just kind of happened. I was just working the front desk at my school today and it hit me. I was so on top of everything and my brain felt momentarily organized. Maybe it was just being so productive that was the real reason I felt so great.

My room smells exactly how I feel and want to feel at the same time. Elegant and dark. Perfect and enchanting. I was watching Dexter today. Eating pretzels. And I realized one thing while doing this; that I always want to be with Kyle. All the time. Its getting to be a bit ridiculous. Even at the most unimportant times. When I'm drinking coffee, booze, tea. Watching TV. Listening to music. Its sad really, the way I've given myself in. A year ago I would have never said that about him.

Lastnight Marcie and I went to chilis with John, Nate, and Sadie. I miss Sadie all the time, but don't realize how much until I see her again. It was a nice meal. We then went back to have fondue. Chocolate. Bananas and strawberries. It was delicious. We then drank wine while we watched 27 dresses and ps I love you.

The reasons I love winter:

Reading. Hot drinks. Electric blankets. Pretty snow. No one ever walks around outside, so when I walk I feel all alone. I like that feeling.

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