Sunday, January 4, 2009

oh, me

I feel drained of all emotion. Like its been talked out of me. I guess I'd rather feel numb than feel anything else right now, maybe I'm complaining for no reason and I should actually be feeling a lot worse right now. I've never been here before though. Past the point of no communication. Feeling like each word I say takes some kind of significant effort or force to tumble off my lips. I am more than thankful for the one person who knew that I would have given anything for someone to listen to me.. just.. talk. I still feel like even after the heart-spilling word bath I gave being on the level of being able to say how I felt actually felt more like a guessing game that I was playing. Or tricking myself. One of the two. I've never not known what words to say. Especially for how I feel.

Maybe I'm just torn and damaged and need to get over it.

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