Tuesday, December 30, 2008

resolutions

1. to be careful who i trust.
2. to only live for myself, my friends, and my love.
3. to focus on things that i know will always make me happy.
4. to remember things are easier said than done.
5. to be a nicer person, and mean it.
6. to care about things that are important to me.
7. find out what i'm good at, and stick with it.
8. get a job that im exited about.
9. dont loose sight, just in general.
10. to get another one of my poems published.
11. to be a better cook.
12. to not be stengy, at all, not even with my feelings,
to tell people how i feel, when i feel that way.

Monday, December 29, 2008

my life in fast fwd

Lastnight I was laying with my hands over my ears and face in my pillow taking in long deep breaths and just thinking about how much I think in gray. How much my life is a blur and how often I have to change things around me to obtain the satisfaction of that continuing. Although there have been addictive things come into my life that I wouldn't ever give up or change. I wish I could think in black and white. Crisp and clean. Never elaborate my thoughts in my head. Bring myself to think like a lie detector test and never bring in the what ifs. That would make life so much simpler. No more brainteases and word nerdy thoughts.

Then I started to let my brain wonder and think of the future. Where I'll be a year from now. How much I'll have grown and how proud of my life I'll be. For once. Now I just have to focus on the sun and let that be my motivation until I get to that point.

following up


Since I have yet to make a post about the holidays, I figured its better tardy than never.

The holidays this year were actually somewhat festive and non-depressing. In comparison to last christmas this one seems a lot more warming and merry. My favorite gift(s) I got were a biodegradable leather flex spine diary with an owl burnt onto the front and a beats era poetry book. I got tons of presents still sitting in my room that I haven't even pulled out of the bags or boxes to put away. I feel like this christmas was so meaningful because this was the first year that I haven't been spoiled rotten and appreciate everything I received that much more.

Monday, December 22, 2008

there's been nothing to feel

But the reasons I love you today.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

more going ons.. goings on? goings ons?

Wednesday we had a field trip in class instead of having a regular day at beauty college we took it to the malls and went shopping at sephora and various salons in the mall. I got all of my Christmas shopping done and literally had about 7 full sized bags full of presents. I looked so ridiculous. Everyone in the mall just sort of stared at me as I walked out of the mall surprised that as little as I was I could carry everything that I bought. Afterwards, we all went to Olive Garden and got the private dining room. We then proceeded to create a dance made of of moves from hairstyling techniques. Ask me and I'll show you.

Thursday was an interesting day to say the least.. I was driving in to class and on my way out of my neighborhood there was a huge van that must have slid on the ice and smashed into the back of a parked white mini van. Which I was almost too busy looking at the mutilated mini van to see that the cop was laying on his back holding his head like he was about to have a concussion or something. Then out of nowhere 4 cop cars come to save this one cop who fell on the ice. It was pretty crazy. I'm pretty sure that 9 times out of 10 that we get ice in my neighborhood it will be salted. Ha.

Friday I decided to try and grasp a larger appreciation for things that I already have. So I drove to school with my windows down to appreciate the heat in my car. My friend Mike (a true edgeman) pulled up next to me not knowing what to think. He rolled his windows down and just laughed at me.. I found it strange that of all people to pull up next to me on the road, at the one stop light that I hit, it would be him because I wouldnt think it was strange what I was doing. Anyone else would. I hadn't eaten 24 hours prior to lunch either. It was an intense day.

Yesterday I woke up early and took Hannah and myself downtown to volunteer at the Julian Center. I wasn't really fully prepared and had no idea what I was to expect. It ended up being a huge eye opener and I've decided to go back on Monday and become a regular volunteer. Some of the things the kids asked for on their wishlists are just pitiful. They're basic essentials that I take for granted every single day and so next Tuesday at school we've decided to run a rally raising money and closing of the doors to clients and having a student service day for toys for tots and the Julian center. I am way beyond siked about this. Then I went to Maggianos at keystone at the crossing and stuffed my face with amazing italian food.

Last night we had our secret Santa gift exchange last night at Bucca's downtown. It was quite the sight. There were more than 40 of us there laughing and being annoying to the rest of the restaurant. Afterwards, I went to this wild party that had a lot of familar faces that I didnt expect to see there from highschool. Some of the costumes were out of this world. One dude that I didnt know had a present box around his package and was dressed as an elf, he was suppose to be a "dick-in-a-box." Another guy had a long tinsel christmas tree and then two huge blue ornaments underneath attached to the front of his pants with a tag that said:

FROM: GOD
TO: WOMEN

i loled.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Excuse me?? Did I studder??

FUCK YOU. I'm out of here. You'll never see my face again. When you thought I was going to thank you so much someday and hug you for always being there for me, you're wrong. There is nothing I would rather do right now than get in your face and tell you to fuck off and get out of my life, but I'm more lady like than that. I'll just let you continue to judge me and keep to myself. Maybe one day you'll realize that even the one thing you have going for you is even more inadequate than the one person who is bound to leave you as soon as you're used goods.

Much hate,
L

Saturday, December 13, 2008

undrag

The past two weeks have been such a blur, anything but boring. I've just been staying busy. I guess you don't realize how fast time goes by when you've spent the past 6 months waiting for it to go faster. I'm already a third of the way done with school. Wild.

I went to visit kyle up at depauw last week after thanksgiving. It was nice. The drive was seemingly fun, even considering there was nothing but a decent speed limit and winding roads. I got to meet all of his friends and now I'm looking forward to going back again.

This past week I was in my first hair competition and won 2nd place. I was pretty siked when afterwards I got a day at the spa, instant gratification from instructors, and a line of girls asking me to give them the cut and colour. I just laughed.

Yesterday I went to see the nutcracker, it was brilliant. It felt really strange being in a room full of russians here in indy, but it was beautiful. It actually brought back memories of being in the nutcracker when I was younger. I totally thought I forgot all the musc, but strangely enough found myself humming along without even realizing it.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

my house

Is unwelcomingly seasonal. Almost to the point of being pretentious. I was somehow unaware of my surroundings lastnight to due the fact of being high on bliss and stoke, but after working all day today coming home to a house literally full of decor just wasent what I was expecting.

I'm afraid to walk to fast for the fear of my purse getting caught on one of our many christmas trees and pulling it down. I always knew my house was big, but somehow I never imagined it could hold so much "christmas cheer" and be so.... Martha Stewart like.

Come hang out and have some egg nog, our fridge is stocked I'm sure.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

bad dreamers

Dreams always leave me fucked, everything about me physically. My chest burns, my eyes feel fuzzy, my head pounds, my stomach feels empty, and my skin feels like its not mine. I have bad dreams every night that I'm alone. Hence the reason I hate sleeping alone, I'm so there with you

Saturday, November 22, 2008

best email update

I received an email update today from a good friend. The email was insanely serious until the bottom (which is what you should pay attention to) I LOLed so hard.


Its snowing so hard right now and were in this sweet german town. Tonights the 5h show, all of them except one have been in germany, the other one was in Amsterdam. 3 euro "superjoints" haha at some sweet weed cafe'. Tomorrow we head to Poland which im real excited for because i get to see one of my best friends who moved there 2 years ago. The we head to Slovika, Hungary, Austria, Germany again, then Italy, France, then 4 shows in the UK, Germany again, Belgium and then Germany again. Then i'm home to christmas shop. 


Were selling sooo much merch. Were already out of one design, and cds. Were running out of he rest real fast. Next time we will need to bring a shit ton more merch which rules. Europe is sexual.


-nicky


p.s. I now want to change my name to sexual after saying that.


-Sexual.

Friday, November 21, 2008

first day of clients

it was even better than I thought it was going to be. I actually had my schedule completely full of reservations and didnt have to take any walk-ins like everyone else, that felt nice.

services of the day:
manicure
facial (2)
Make-up app
shampoo and style (2)
haircut
hair removal

and all in 3 hours, I do beleive I am amazing at this.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

quiet in the dark

Goodbye to the stale smell of cigarette smoke and smell of patchulli coming from the bathroom. I miss the confinment and escaping reality, shutting out the world for a few days. The laid back and slow pace. The nonchallant laughs and feeling of lazily grazing. One dim light, empty pizza boxes, open strawberries, and an open liquor bottle. All seems too far away for my finger tips, yet I still smell and feel of the morning.

No colors seemed to stand out. As I placed the tears back in my eyes and I looked up to find nothing but bright blue signs and a new feeling of emptiness. I'll keep singing my song, and you'll never know when.

Here I am now. Wrapped in a dark comforter and T-shirt, in my solitude, breathing in the smell of sandalwood and vanilla. Missing the smell of smoke and fresh soap. I shouldn't be too long..

Sunday, November 9, 2008

want.


Carlos Alazraqui and Jill Michelle Melean

Both characters from reno 911 did comedy skits in broadripple lastnight. It was easily thr hardest I've ever laughed for stand up before. Surprisingly Jill made me laugh harder probably because I could relate to a lot of the things she was talking about, being female and everything. Carlos was just perfect though, it amazes me at how open they both are and the extents they go to make people laugh. I mean they literally "embarrass" themselves every night to amuse people. The both cut in on the Indy jokes, which I might have laughed the hardest at. Hahh.

At the end of Carlo's skit he pulled out a thrasher magazine and read a letter to the editor as his closing joke. It was a christian kid writing about how pissed off he was because of people wearing satanic shirts and writing 666 on things. So this kid who was "christian" used fuck every third word in his letter and said "satin (yes, satin) is a red ass piece of shit" his grammar was horrible and logic wasent even there, but that made it even funnier. Lastnight was perfect.

Friday, November 7, 2008

the president has a "blog" too!

All part of Change.gov, launched yesterday. Features an agenda section (listed by priority), transition information, jobs, interactive services, and of course...the blog. Our president-elect is way cool. Pass it on!

Speaking of the pres I feel like a lot of mccain supporters are going into this all wrong and negative. I mean, looking at this from their point of view I would be totally upset if obama didn't win (but, how could he not??) and would probably throw a fit. I would NOT go to some of the extremes I've been seeing though. Ex: there was a yard full of paper obama signs stuck in a yard 2 miles from my school with red X's through his name. Ex 2: lastnight Marcie and I were shopping and her mother and my father called us both saying things about all the awful places our tax money will go, how barack is the anti christ, and all these ridiculous things. Then marcie's mom said she wasent going to help out with Sadie anymore and cutting off her money just because of her opinion when we were just being super sarcastic.

I guess when you live in the midwest with a bunch of close minded people you shouldn't have such high standards. Meh meh meh. He's going to be a great change for the country, but he's not going to be perfect. I'm just afraid people are going to hold him to too high in expectancy and then others are just going to tear him down for every little thing.

Monday, November 3, 2008

5 hours

I'm still not following the safety signs or arrows. I'm going to live by your fortune cookies and the spiraling feeling in my stomach. How did I get to this point in my life? I'm not slowing down, just watch. I'll run away just like I promised. In the mean time I'll just keep living under rocks.

untopable and unstoppable weekend


This weekend was so perfect. Friday edwin, cam, and I drove to meet up with Marcie, john, Tim, noel, Kara and Kieth. We all went to this wild basement party and I was seriously in amazement at how many people were packed into this one house. It was like hippie central in the back yard, a rave in the basement, and a cluster fuck upstairs. It was seriously like a movie or something.

Then Saturday surprisingly topped Friday night. Tom's costume was a Mexican with bullet straps full of shot glasses, gun holders both full of fifths of tequila, a sombrero, and authentic Mexican shirt. The entire night he ran around saying "embuerto" and called me "tequirra" all night hahhaha. No one in the house was sober and no one fell asleep before 6 in the morning. The next day no we all ate unlimited pizza at eatza and no one left the house until 6 at night. It was probably the best party I've ever been to in my life. As hard as it is for this to normally happen, I loved everyone in that house.



I ended up being 3 hours late to class this morning from oversleeping. I hate aftermath



Saturday, November 1, 2008

my ideal pizza

leannoftrades (4:41:26 PM): first half: 1 1/3 amount of regularly used pizza sauce with veggies first. black olives, banana peppers, tomatoes. then feta crumbles. then a 1/2 inch of motz. then TONS of p cheese on top. and just a little basil. like im talking to where you can barely taste it. oh, and motz baked onto the crust and garlic butter drizzled on the crust while its baking too
leannoftrades (4:47:06 PM): half two: a cheese sauce instead of reg tomato based pizza sauce, and like an inch of three different kinds of cheezes. im going to say motz, ricotta, and provlone. flatten the crust so its completely covered and then drizzle pepperonchini juice (is that wierd? lol) and mix buffalo sauce and p cheeze together for a dipping sauce

Thursday, October 30, 2008

a few points i feel like making

I love beauty school, everything about it. Its way harder than I thought it was going to be, but what the hell isn't. I feel so at home when I'm here.

I'm sick of the "hi, how are you" conversations. I want to have real conversations, with real people, about real things. I mean I do I honestly give a fuck how you're doing? I legit care about how maybe 5 people are "doing" on this earth..

Gas prices are perfect right now. My gas light came on this morning on the way to class and so I filled up for 18 dollars. In the entirety of the time I've been driving never have I been able to fill up on 18 dollars. At 1.99 a gallon. Just wow. I'm not siked about them going back up after nov. 2nd

Halloween this year will be amazing. Every other year up until this one I've been cutesy or funny. This year I'm doing sexy, and I'm going all out. Partiez this year will be crazy..

Everything about this election is pissing me off. All the emails I wake up to in the morning, all the political talk and repeating myself. I'm just going back to my passive aggressive self and putting Miss assertive on the back burner.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

best quotes of the day

Setting- facial hour, quiet room except few ladies talking

Amanda: OoOoh El just opened a can of worms!
Jessi: I like gummi worms..
Me: hahahahahaha


Setting- lunch, driving with Nate

Nathan: So Jonathan Davis sucks. Like a lot. He's a fag.
Me: I have no idea who that is..
Nathan: the singer of korn, he's such a tool.
Me: of course he is..
Nathan: no, I mean like really.. He made up his own rap song. Its the worst thing I've ever heard. I'm going to buy the song just so I can listen to it with everyone I know and make fun of him.
Me: hahahahahahah
Nathan: yeah, the worst part.. He calls himself "Mr. Make it rain"

Sunday, October 26, 2008

i love you. you know who you are.

I must admit as standoffish as I was about being friends with you a few years ago I regret not taking the chance now. Tonight, as many times as my eyes teared up and any song that I chose to listen to you managed to keep my mood solid and my words flowing. Just the fact that no one else knows about me, knows about where I come from, and the reasons that I believe in the things that I do. You know, because you've been there. I hate reliving my childhood and all the things I went through, but you make it all seem okay. Real conversations are what I live for a I just had the conversation of my life. Even the people who cared couldn't reach out like that. Thank you for relating, thank you for listening. Thank you for making me realize.


They don't know about being low like we do..

Sunday, October 19, 2008

wall street journal

Well I received a call yesterday, it was a woman from cbs for the wall street journal. I had a half an hour interview, but it was hilarious because I realized how funny my political views actually are and I actually got the lady interviewing me to laugh and start agreeing by saying "totally." and "I agree." Which I think this was against her rules and policy, but wuteviez.

So I'm on my way back from PA right now. It was a nice break from Indiana (not that breaks from Indiana aren't nice, they always are.) We went to falling waters by Frank L. Wright, fright farm and some record release for a stoopz band, and a party at the ivory ballroom yesterday. Afterwards I went shopping and managed to get more clothes that I totally didn't need.

Trash talk tonight, should be a wild time. As always.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

everything i need, nothing i want

In retrospect as dramatic and slowly and today moved the talk between DiDi and I is still in my head. I like elaborating on things that seem important to me and anytime that I have even a relatively deep conversation with someone I replay it over and over in my head.

Today we were talking about how you can trust no one, and how were both 5 steps ahead of the game, maturity wise, and how were not stupid. Both of us are alike in the sense that we can see right through fake people and don't take any bullshit. I might act stupid, and I might act like I have no clue, the thing is though I always do know. It got me thinking that there are only a few people that I sincerely trust. That I could tell secretive things to, that I could leave my purse around, that I could even trust to put effort into a friendship. I'm completely content to that. The thing about this is that there are three reasons that I may befriend someone: A) because they have similar interests or beliefs B) because they're attractive (not looks) and nice at the same time with no drama (this is rare) C) because they can have a good time or conversations with me. Generally I try to have all three of these in a friend which makes it difficult to have an obscene amount of friends. DiDi and I are exactly the same in this sense which just makes me love her more.

I don't hold myself on some holy pedestal by any means. I just can only hope that my expectations never fade. It seems to be working for me.

lol at the debate

Jesus christ, if I were a mccain supporter after his performance lastnight I just wouldn't vote at all.. He's ridiculous, obama atleast talks about what needs to happen and the change that needs to be made. Mccain just takes what obama says and when its his turn to speaks he thrashes it and rips it apart. He's so negative. Obama absolutely killed on his healthcare speech lastnight, I was impressed upon being impressed with him generally.

I just remember mccain rarely making sense at all, and frequently changing the subject completely. Once was from fuel efficient cars to making a reference about obama and terrorists, and another from womans unfair pay to children with autism and being prolife. Seriously man, what the fuck? He's loosing his mind. He was just awkwardly emotional and agressive lastnight. He wouldn't handle the debate professionally lastnight like obama, he acted like a child. Blinking everytime he got nervous and interupting obama enough for even a tasteless persons taste.

I am actually fed up with this. I'm moving to canada where there is peace and killer environment. See you all on videochat from montreal.

Winners for the most hilarious txts during the debate:

"You heard Obama got the homeless vote right?" -John Fields

"Damn whitey got no manners!" -Nate Stevens

"My mom just said that old man looks like he got surgery on his face, and why can't he move his neck?" -Edwin Veguilla

"What if obama and the cbs news guy held mccain down and ripped off his clothes and he had a tattoo of a black baby hanging in a noose" -Mike Steinborn

"Imagine if for the next question, mccain just paused and went "uh... Uh.... ID ELIMINATE NASA" -Mikey Steinborn

Sunday, October 12, 2008

far away from here

i need to eat.
i need to sleep.
i need to live.
i need to take.
i need to give.
i need to inhale.
i need to view.
i need to repeat.
i need to smile.
i need to hate.
i need to stop.
i need to wade.
i need to swallow.
i need to pester.
i need to touch.
i need to scatter.
i need to fall.
i need to yell.
i need to shop.
i need to taste.
i need to travel.
i need to bundle.
i need to sing.
i need to appreciate.
i need to blunder.
i need to paint.
i need to swell.
i need to learn.
i need to respect.
i need to shove.
i need to chill.
i need to read.
i need to write.
i need to rage.
i need to feel.
i need to express.
i need to leave.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Intial thoughts on the debate

At first I was really not into the debate at all, there wasn't anything entertaining really being said, just two guys bragging. McCain bragging a significant amount more than Obama. Although, there were a few things said that made me laugh.. my favorite being: "..while he was cheerleading the president into war.." made by Barrack Obama. I loled

I was having txt seshes with people about the debate, but I just kept getting pissed the entire time and wouldnt be able to understand McCain half the time because he's so old and doesnt really make THAT much sense anymore. He looked at Obama once, trying to diss his about something and said "I have bad news for you, Mister Obama.. this is a bad news" when he meant to say "the economy is bad" or something like that. I must say that Obama killed with his healthcare speech. So nice, and McCain basically knew that he lost lastnight.

Monday, October 6, 2008

REVIVAL TOUR

Ben Nichols of Lucero
Chuck Ragan of Hot Water Music
Tim Barry of Avail

Lastnight was so amazing, even for showing up an hour and a half late because of work. I walked in just in time to hear Ben Nichols playing slow dancing and it was perfect. I asked Brandon as soon as I got there is he had played hold fast. He had not. Then I stood there hoping with everything inside myself that it would be one of the last two songs he played. It was not.

Then just seeing Chuck Ragan's full was simply incredible, I mean he had 2 instruments on his body throughout the whole set, and he had special guests come up to help him the whole time. I was a beautiful set. I called numerous people during bloody shell to let them listen and because it was my favorite song the entire set. I kind of didnt want it to end.

Then at the very end everyone got on stage and started playing together (apparently this is how it started, but I missed the begining). The first song they played was hold fast, and my night was completely made. Most surreal song live.

Then after the show I realized Chris was in town, which was a nice surprise. Also, that Tim and John were both nowhere to be found, which was not a nice surprise. On the way home I got a speeding ticket and am out another 150$ that I dooo not have. I almost want to say that the show was worth it..

Friday, October 3, 2008

don't mean to talk politics

It's just getting to be too much for me..Indiana's registration deadline is Monday, October 6th. You can help us reach our voter registration goal. We are 85% of the way there, with only three days left.Monday is the last day to register!

You can register here: VoteForChange. com as well as check your registration status, request an absentee ballot, and find your voting location or polling place.Every vote is important, and in three days it'll be too late for many voices to be heard on Election Day. Obama needs all the votes he can get, if you don't vote you'll just be a waste.

Let's make our 44th pres Barack Obama! McCain is old and moldy. Oh, and stupid. He graduated in the bottom 10 of his class. Obama, on the other hand, graduated from Harvard and isn't in this for the wrong reasons. McCain agrees with 90% of Bush's actions, if you're looking for change(the good kind) then helphelpehlp! Oh, and if you weren't watching the vp debates lastnight then you should probably check it below. Palin is a moron, and a hypocrite.

Sry, don't mean to rant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89FbCPzAsRA

Even as sure of herself as she seems, check her facts. Slander and lies and half the time she starts her rants sarcastically and smiles the while time Joe Biden is talking. Her accent sucks.Repost this if you're down

Thursday, October 2, 2008

covering all my bases

leannoftrades (11:35:11 PM): what im really trying to say is fuck palin
nickdaqwick (11:35:24 PM): omg
nickdaqwick (11:35:27 PM): soooo dumb
leannoftrades (11:35:40 PM): shes a contradicting bitch
leannoftrades (11:35:47 PM): with a stupid accent
nickdaqwick (11:35:55 PM): ughhh
leannoftrades (11:35:51 PM): i hate her
nickdaqwick (11:35:57 PM): i hate her
leannoftrades (11:35:57 PM): i love you lol
nickdaqwick (11:36:06 PM): : )
nickdaqwick (11:36:22 PM): she tip toed around every fucking question
leannoftrades (11:36:53 PM): i know
nickdaqwick (11:37:08 PM): listen bitch,
nickdaqwick (11:37:19 PM): alaska is lame
nickdaqwick (11:37:26 PM): your family is pathetic
nickdaqwick (11:37:35 PM): hockey is for pussies
nickdaqwick (11:37:42 PM): your daughters a whore
nickdaqwick (11:37:49 PM): and you need a new hair cut
leannoftrades (11:37:56 PM): lol amazing
leannoftrades (11:38:01 PM): she tried talking about knowing what its like about "sitting at home with the family and money problems"
leannoftrades (11:38:09 PM): yeah fucking right..
leannoftrades (11:38:28 PM): mccain has millions of dollars and the glasses on her face were like 1500 dollars
leannoftrades (11:38:30 PM): fuck her
nickdaqwick (11:38:46 PM): shes a fucking joke
leannoftrades (11:39:08 PM): she was talking about change, but mccain agrees with 90% of what bush says and does. its ridiculous
nickdaqwick (11:39:26 PM): yeah its horrible
leannoftrades (11:39:23 PM): america only wants her cos shes a beauty queen. i hate her
nickdaqwick (11:39:36 PM): and he's 2000 years old
nickdaqwick (11:39:50 PM): id rather fuck obama
nickdaqwick (11:39:55 PM): shes sexy
nickdaqwick (11:40:17 PM): and biden is jsut a smart dude
leannoftrades (11:41:02 PM): and youre not.. don't shoot me santa clause* change it :-)
leannoftrades (11:41:08 PM): hahahha kidding
nickdaqwick (11:41:16 PM): mccain was 6 from the bottom of his like 900 something graduating class
leannoftrades (11:41:29 PM): it doesnt surprise me, at all..
leannoftrades (11:41:42 PM): them together as a pair could fuck america royally
leannoftrades (11:41:59 PM): im just not down
nickdaqwick (11:42:43 PM): wow there were like 6 typos i didnt notice
nickdaqwick (11:42:45 PM): i suck
nickdaqwick (11:43:03 PM): if there elected, hello greece
leannoftrades (11:43:43 PM): and hello euroland..
leannoftrades (11:43:53 PM): i'll even blow up alaska before i leave
nickdaqwick (11:44:13 PM): haha


sry for all his typoz, he's stoopz

Monday, September 29, 2008

why Andy is my boyfriend

Andy Norton: I have no idea how I'm going to stay up to study tonight
Andy Norton: I should be good now. I got a caramel maca cha cha from the bucks


Oh and because he has the spice girls on his iPod. Yeah, that too.


<3

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Baltimore was pretty raAaAad




5 AM airport shuffle

What's up with all the "unattended belongings" announcements at the airport? I mean really? I would think with the excessive amount of airport security they would have better things to worry about.

Even the most secretive snake coming in on a "code orange" wouldn't make it out with much. Airports are too organized. Plus, who really brings anything important? I mean hell, I couldn't get away with bringing an unopened bottle of water this morning. Much less the snacks in my purse that I hoped to share with everyone near and dear around me.

I just feel uneasy about all the lethal lotions and atomic toothpastes floating around on board with the innocent citizens. It could be me with my 4 oz of volumizing conditioner, ready to attack! Or you with your toxic mint mouthwash. You just never know. So dangerous

Thursday, September 25, 2008

people in progress


I'm at the airport. Everybody is moving. Talking. Walking. And many other verbs. But mostly passive ones.

It's easy to tell whether people are coming or going. Whether they're starting out or ending up. If this is a voluntary movement or an obligation. Some try to sleep. Rub their temples. Socialize. Quietly die.

Airports are surprisingly calm when you think about it. Here cultures collide in a confusing ever-changing mess of departures and arrivals. And there is the element of fear. But everybody follows the rules. And keeps to themselves mostly. Driving isn't even this organized; relative to the amount of danger involved.

But I guess I shouldn't let it bother me. I'm just going to keep sitting and being a people watcher lurk against the wall. My layover flight to NY was flaked so I have another 2 hours to scope this place out for prisses and munks.

How exciting.

Monday, September 22, 2008

sleep txts

Apparently lastnight I was sleep texting a mass amount of people. Jason, paulina, nick, and a few others. I feel like such an idiot because I was making no sense and I vaguely remember these convos, but this was by far the funniest:

Ryan Groat: What kind of powers do u possess?
Leann Marie: Oh I'm a godess
Leann Marie: Don't you know???
Ryan Groat: O rly?
Leann Marie: Mhmm
Leann Marie: I don't like to talk about it
Leann Marie: Then everyone wants to be my friend for all the wrong reasons
Ryan Groat: Haha
Ryan Groat: I want to win the lottery?
Ryan Groat: Can u help me out?
Leann Marie: See, ryan
Leann Marie: Now that's what I'm talking about
Ryan Groat: I'm sorry
Ryan Groat: Ur powers don't mean anything to me then
Ryan Groat: ;)
Leann Marie: Hahah oh wuteviez
Leann Marie: You're a bad liar
Ryan Groat: Haha
Ryan Groat: Wuteviez
Ryan Groat: What's new in leannworld?

There was more but it was me talking about loving black people.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

funeral or fly

I guess I'll spread my wings, I'm coming home to you.

There is no polite way to go around avoiding a burial, or death. In all fairness, the way you live represents the outcome of people that surround you or remember you when you're gone. You begin to realize this around half way through your life. For those who don't realize this end up just like you. I'm sorry, truly sorry. I know it will be an empty room. I know there will be no tears. I know that for most people there it will be just one big attention party or freakish reunion. The fact that there was so much time between those days makes it all the more harder. You aren't that fresh in my head, actually you aren't even in my head. For some reason I never thought about this happening to you. You and reality just never seemed to cross paths in my head.

So I'm choosing to fly. I'm coming home to you

Thursday, September 18, 2008

skewl roolz

for the past wk nothing of significance has happened, just school and normal jazzz. School has been quite the muse though. Yesterday I put on this manikin head without a base and wore it around the school. I couldn't breathe or see out of it so Miranda cut nose holes for me, and I left the eyes alone. I managed to run into 2 walls and punch Diana in the face during a group photo. LOL I looked like such an asshole, and everyone in the freshman room has to think I'm out of my mind, except Jason and all the ladies in my class. He and Eric commented on its funniness.


Then today when my class was testing out in perms, like being timed and everything Lisa brings her class and 2 others in to karaoke. It was wild, Lisa was singing "dontcha" and grinding on EVERYONE. Like singling out dudes and singing to them. Funniest shit ever, I've never seen a woman over 35 dance like that. I love my school.

The new class of 2009 masscot:

Monday, September 15, 2008

an ode to the not so delicate flower

being girls we find it hard being pleased with every little thing, there are always things being lacked in every category, of every aspect of our lives. When we find that we're at that point of trying to fool ourselves and lie to our own faces. Well, that's when things start to get nasty. Being trapped in a 5x5 room could also bring out a similar circumstance with polar opposite reactions. Depending on the day. Although, what I'm really trying to say is touche' gg for pointing out the obvious and completely depressing me into oblivion. Furthermore, I would also like to state that living each day with something you can't live without is both draining and to be quite blunt fucking miserable

Sunday, September 14, 2008

life as i know it

100,000 times a day i think about someone who is 600 miles away

Thursday, September 11, 2008

sept 11


goodbye summer, hello autumn. Today is guppies last kickball game, I feel bad for not going to a single one of her games this season. Its just been hard with school and working every weekend. I cant wait to have free time. Atleast I'm going today, she's pitching. I cant wait

I got offered a killer job yesterday, commission on top of an already great pay, my phone bill is covered, and I am the only girl working in the company in all of Indy. I think I'm going to take it. I also am on the student council at school, were voting for officers on Monday. No school tomorrow so all the girls are having a day out, and by day out I mean hittting up the spa, cupcakes, chick flicks, and best of all Danielle's bachelorette party tomorrow night. This should be quite interesting

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

nature is lovely

Directly behind my deck there is this "baby" evergreen tree. There are all these little things (circled in red) that LOOK like pine cones but are actually cocoons. My mom thought it strange that out tree was sprouting little pine cones at the end of summer and then saw them moving back and forth, which I witnessed as well. Its a pretty awesome thing, our tree is seriously COVERED. I just had to zoom in on a specific section for you to even be able to see them at all

Friday, September 5, 2008

crime in stereo, and other beautiful things


well last night I went to see crime in stereo, I actually decided the day before that I was going to see them, but I'm glad that I did. The actual venue (the launching pad) was an awesome venue I only it weren't in Muncie, IN. I got to see Dillon, who I haven't seen in like a year, and Mikey (photoed, my fav lil faggot) is in town and decided to go to the show too. CIS had an awesome set though, those guys put on such a good show. I dont remember the complete set but I know they started out with slow math, such a good choice. My favorite songs were easily abre los ojos and small skeletal though. Fake problems were amazing. Kali and I both stood there smiling, their music seriously made me ridiculously happy for some reason

As for other awesome stuff we had a cook out at school and Miranda brought in a special veggie platter for me since I couldn't eat anything they were grilling and it was so fresh. I usually dont back veggie trays cos they tend to be gross, but this was incredible. I also tried baked mac and cheese for the first time, I'm eating this on the regular now. We had water balloon and egg tosses during the day and right before I did mine I screamed "I get wet!", needless to say I didnt get wet and Katie and I didnt win the contest. I get facials with seabreeze like everyother day now from Katie too. I love it so much.

Today my mom came in and now she is no longer a platinum blonde and is officially a 7m, she took me out to lunch afterwards because even at a beauty school all the free things she got would have costed around $45 there and hundereds in a salon. I'm so proud of myself, she looks like a totally different person

Monday, September 1, 2008

deja vu


I do like to take an interest in the world around me and the going ons, sometimes its just hard with my busy life. I am aware of the torch relay and people dying in riots, and the fears of a new cold war between Georgia and Russia, I just never have the time to sit down and listen to the speeches that the candidates running for election make, even though its probably a priority I should make. Although with all of the fuss about hurricane Gustav, it's bringing in some familiar feelings relative to hurricane Katrina. The majority is due to the fact that if tomorrow the actual hurricane touches the tip of FL then it will be exactly 3 years to the date. Hurricane Katrina touched down in New Orleans on September 2nd, 2005, how ironic would it be if Gustav touched down the same day three years later. I inevitably was birthed right in the middle of hurricane season, I'm guessing this is a bad thing. The way it stands right now, with the gas prices seemingly high if any damage is done in FL all of the gas prices for states south of IN are going to be seeing those rise even more, and if any damage is done around TX or a little east of TX then IN and surrounding states will be seeing the same outcome..

I remember when hurricane Katrina hit my dad called me crying, it was the first time that I heard him truly crying and didn't know what to do. He had lived about 20 miles outside of New Orleans around the time and was forced out of his home, he called me during the aftermath, when he was aloud to go back and gather up what he could. He was 16 miles away from New Orleans and said that he could barely take the smell of it. He said the lingering smell of dead bodies and food that had gone bad was just overwhelming. There were dead alligators and other animals on the sides of the road and he went into the city and witnessed something he said that he would never forget. There were people sleeping in cots and on the ground of a wasteland, eating garbage, and looked like savages. The death toll from 3 months after the hurricane was 1300, and more bodies are being found all the time.

The New Orleans Saints are currently residing here in Indianapolis practicing since their game was canceled due to the bad weather. I hate to see people having to flee from their homes again and being packed onto buses, shoulder to shoulder, and not know where they are being sent off to. It sad stuff.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

birthday, wedding, hair


So, it was my birthday yesterday. Like always seemed to be no significant day in my year. Actually, this year was particularly extra lame. My dad scheduled his wedding on the same day as my birthday. So by default I was stuck at my dad's wedding and reception an entire state away on my birthday. The whole time I sat there during the wedding looking at my uncle and he kept looking at me and we would just laugh at everyone. Somehow in some sick way I knew exactly who he was going to laugh at next, but it was still funny. The few times that I was paying attention I would hear the words "god" or "christ" or something about being bonded by God. I wonder if they do have unreligious weddings that arent in vegas or assumed to be spur-of-the-moment. After all the way I see it I and my significant other would have brought ourselves together, not God. Am I wrong? Friday Jessi made me cupcakes for my bithday and brought them to class though, and that ruled. They were funfetti

In other news, my hair is officially three colors and totally fabulous.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

books, books, and more books


Tonight Nate took me out to sushi for my upcoming birthday, and it. was. delicious. Many strange delectables were ordered and enjoyed. My tummy was thoroughly happy and at the end of dinner I decided upon getting green tea ice-cream, as if this weren't enough to take in Nate proposed that I get it tempura. Thank you, Nathan. Best thing I've eaten since the little L.A. style bakery on Salem St. in Boston

Before Dinner though as I was getting in the car there was a huge golden bag waiting for me in the seat, matching my shoes and everything! Inside were 5 new books and Nate laughed and said he had seen my most recent blog post about all 9 of my new books. So what, now I have 14 new books to read. I'm a happy fucking girl. These delightful little reads are what got Nate reading again, including:

a clockwork orange
apathy
american psycho
lullaby (author of fightclub)
the alchemist

Also, tonight as I was getting home from class my old 8th grade math teacher, Mr. Welch, was on my big screen TV on vh1 for "Little Beauties Ultimate Showdown". He was with his 9 year old daughter who looks like she is 20. He was talking about prep for the pagents. It was quite wierd.. He always used to call me TX, which was also wierd.


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

alternate ways of living

for those of you who are privileged enough to have my other blog address, please note that I will be updating my progression as a better person by baby steps quite frequently.


also picked up some new books yesterday:

three the hard way
100 simple secret to great relationships
the book of lost things
girls only
behind closed door
past secrets
be bad girl
love on a rotten day

I'm such a girl, but I'm planning on reading them all. Plus, Andy bought me the book "Napalm & Silly Putty" by George Carlin so I must read that too. Aloooooone time, here I come

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

graveyard shift

I love when my mom works 3rd shifts. I can call her right before bed and wake up to awesome emails like these:

Received using: leannoftrades@gmail.com
Message Status: Opened
To: leannoftrades@gmail.com
Sent: Aug 26, 2008 2:56 AM
From: Christi Michaelson
Subject: Happy almost Birthday

Hi E. I know you will be in KY for your birthday but I want to plan a celebration the following Friday, 9/5 so keep it open. Give me some food suggestions if I were to cook you a special dinner and then a suggestion if we go out to eat. Not sure which one we will do. We also have a gift in mind but make some suggestions for that also.
Love,
Mom

---


Received using: leannoftrades@gmail.com
Message Status: Opened
To: leannoftrades@gmail.com
Sent: Aug 26, 2008 3:07 AM
From: Christi Michaelson
Subject: www.sailinonn.blogspot.com

I read your blog and I'm sorry I made you cry. I don't think I am right about what I said. Always be cautious and guard your heart. It's a precious thing!

I love you my dear sweet daughter.

~Mom

---


Received using: leannoftrades@gmail.com
Message Status: Opened
To: leannoftrades@gmail.com
Sent: Aug 26, 2008 4:14 AM
From: Christi Michaelson
Subject: how did you find such a cheap airline ticket

How-the-heck??
I just looked out of boredome and the cheapest flight I could find, round trip, from here to Baltimore is over $350.

You sure your ticket is round trip. One-way sounds more like it.


Lolol, I love my mom

Monday, August 25, 2008

del.icio.us wordle



Just discovered Wordle, via the amazing web.
Wordle creates beautiful tag clouds, with various font and color
options, from any text you supply (larger word size positively
correlates with higher frequency of word usage). Get your own!


Do not over use

Something other than lyrics to get into, these little sayings will be hopefully updated

1. Words like waves only have the power we grant them. They are many-layered things. Energy flows through all, but rests in none.

2. One wave cannot speak for the sea, any more than one feeling can make a woman, any more than one fall can break a man.

3. Stray thoughts that find homes usually overstay their welcome.

4. Water has the power to move objects, to reflect, and to cleanse, but little more. Have respect, but do not lend your power unduly, for she has no mind with which to wield it.

5. Sometimes when you're swept off your feet, it's because a rug has been pulled out from under you.

6. Everyone should date a crazy person or two and should also be the crazy person at least once. You learn a lot.

7. Feeling joy for others based on their criteria, not yours, is a skill you only learn by letting go of your bullshit. But learning to let go of that standard frees you up to enjoy a lot of things you suck at doing.

see you've got it all wrong

I didn't think that today was going to deliver, although I could still be wrong by leaps and bounds.

I'd like to make it known that as I am writing this blog sitting in my seat brittany goes "You seem so alone back here, bangs.." Apparently she likes my bangs and me "as a person". I have mastered the art of giving the appeal that I've been aiming for. The girl who doesn't like interuptions and is completely content doing anything by herself. The lonewolf

I'm going to spend money on pomegrante scented things today, and calm myself down

Sunday, August 24, 2008

nights like these

I sit here behind closed doors reminiscing about the previous days. Reliving every little moment to see any sign of emotion that could be used as a weapon, the taste of goodbye now turning into stale air and stomach acid. The wet corners of my eyes now becoming dry and hard to move. My fingers only moving hard enough to prove that I care, and every option in my mind being reviewed. Being picked, over-analyzed, and turned into a plan that will change within hours, or minutes even. My outer shell missing the same affection it received previous to this blackout. The sky is massive, I only hope that this headache wouldn't feel that big and that the source was not placed there. There is no sense in this matter, and no logic behind my reasoning. The words that flowed from her lips have me worried, and I can not help but think that maybe she's right.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Perks


I cut my hair, I think I kind of like it now.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

love today

As I was sitting in class, for the first time I finished all of my projects early, so I sat there listening to my iPod and watching all the girls in my class around me scurrying trying to catch up with one another and perfect their manikins. Then upon thinking I realized that the people that are going to be getting most of my time are all so different from one another, although we are all there for the same reasons (to prepare for the same career) none of us are ANYTHING alike. There is a girl who is married to a fire fighter with two full sleeves and 2 daughters, a bisexual girl who was in prison in WV for 2 years, a girl who is a manager and lives in a studio amt downtown, a girl who owns her own hair and tanning salon, a girl who is a musician and the quietest person I've ever met, a girl who works at hooters and had her mom die from a stroke, a girl who was the captain of her cheerleading squad, and then there is me.. the girl.. into hardcore and art. I love it, i love the school, the people, the atmosphere, and most of all knowing that I'm going to be doing what I love in less than 2 years for a living.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Swamp thing/Letdown/War Hungry

The show last night was mostly funny more than anything. Starting with me getting out of class late because I stayed after to help Danielle catch up on points for class, she did my hair in these huge curls and did my make-up like I was going to prom. So then Mike and the rest of letdown show up at my house and I'm wearing a white t-shirt, grandpa khaki shorts, old vans, and from my neck up I probably look like a hooker or something. I proceed to make spaghetti, cake, and chai tea while we all watched the simpsons and family guy until we had to leave for the show. On the way there my hair was blowing all over the place so Bob gave me a hat to wear that said "I'm high on WEED CALIFORNIA" best hat ever. Also, Drew started telling me a story about when he was in elementary school and went to the bahamas and came back with braids in his hair and beads in his bangs in Jamacian colors, on a seperate occasion dressing up like levi strauss in a dunce cap and crying in front of the class giving a presentation. I almost pissed myself laughing

Before the show there was a van full of about 12-15 dudes with the heat on playing rave music and moshing, quite the sight LOL. During the show the sets were all pretty cool and were actually shortish, but the show did get started literally until 9. After the show we got free hot box pizzza and everyone made fun of the girl that owned the house because she was super drunk and were all telling her to have sex with a gay guy. I did not partake in this. On the way home I made Mike let me pick the songs and obvi they were all killers songs. I passed out watching blood diamond on the phone with Andy and everyone else fell asleep watching Joe Dirt hahahahah. I had to get up at 5 to nanny and let the dudes sleep and brought Shawn back over to my house around 9 and we played ps2 until everyone woke up. Then everyone started making fun of Shawn being a pervert and he totally went along with it saying things like "I'm coming", "I need you to help me out, Leann", "I'm going to finish last" while we were playing a motocross game (mind you this kid JUST turned 7). I t was so awkward after everyone left.

Monday, August 4, 2008

shark week is over

such a bum out




















(click picture to enlarge)


in other news:

today was the first day of beauty college, it went swimmingly. No this isn't a pun on the fact that in the picture above I am suppose to be a shark. I had to cut hair the first day though and got the "not bad at all" after sweating to death wondering if I had done everything correctly and successfully mastered the 0 degree/ blunt cut. Oh and Shelby is in the same class as me and I had no idea, so siked. There are a few randoms that I would rather not have in the class, but for the most part all the girls are awesome and sooo funny

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Mass Ave. first Friday, art galleries

Last night other than getting Cajun food and flicking with Jill, watching P2 and also Flakes (which is an incredible movie that everyone should watch, starring Zooey Deschanel) I went downtown to Massachusetts Ave for the first Friday art gallery showings.

They had pieces in the galleria anywhere from $500-a couple grand, but they were all really awesome though and I decided that I'm going to start painting again instead of just drawing. As in painting a lot, in any spare time that I get and only asking for painting supplies for my upcoming birthday


Warped Tour 2k8




Warped tour ended up being amazing, and for only 20$ tickets seeing against me! front row was worth just that and everything else was awesome on top of that.

When Paulina and I first got there we had already showed up an hour and a half late and searched for the line up and show times, in doing that we found ourselves waiting in line for a TROJAN brand condom (virtual) roller coaster. It ended up being hilarious, and air-conditioned. During the "ride" a ghost pig popped up and said something along the lines of "I'm immune to STDs" and the guy standing next to me directly responded with "I've used that one before." I laughed to hard that I almost pulled Paulina onto the ground with me.. As we left they handed out free condoms. Ultra thin and ribbed ones, that were honestly big enough to fit over my head. Later Paulz and I blew balloons in her car with them and took 1,000 pictures

Top 3 sets of the day

Then we proceeded afterwards to see the Bronx, and I love the Bronx a lot, in case you didn't know. I was so siked and revved up on tangerine monster, I'm pretty suree that Jared thought I was crazy, he waved at me anyways. During the set though some girl in an alkaline trio shirt directly in front of me just passed out, it was nuts. I felt bad about wanting to keep watching the Bronx and getting into it, but I felt obligated to look over aside from the crowd and make sure she wasn't having convulsions or something. She ended up being fine, and by the ended of the set the vocalist was in the crowd and dumping beer on people's heads. It was a funny sight

Set Your Goals set was incredible, it was at the smartpunk stage and there was barely enough room for all the kids there to see them, I was in the pit backed against the railing wall that was put up to separate it from the rest of the crowd and I'm surprised that all of my toes are unbroken. It was a pretty long set and they did a good job with mixing up the songs, afterwards I went to the bridge nine tent to tell someone there that they did a good job and I got a free SYG poster, hah.

Against me!'s set was beautiful, too beautiful for words. It was like a music video come to life, I seriously couldn't catch my breath half the time and could feel my heart pounding off beat with the drums. I'm surprised that I didn't pass out. I stood front row the entire time screaming the lyrics. Best song of the day: I'm losing touch

After warped tour was over Levi, Chris and I were invited to the bbq after the show so we went and the line was massive so we flaked out of that and Levi apparently is friends with Jeremy from TDWP so we all just went back to the buses, luckily Paulina had a friend Johno who she was friends with from when she lived in Ft. Worth and he was there to let me use the restroom on his bus. Even though there was no toilet paper. We had a huge dance party of Sky eats Airplanes bus, and I made new friends from Bloomington, the sweetest girls ever, Sundown and Mia. At one point everyone was jumping up and down and Lee was flashing the lights on and off while we all listened to lil wayne. I never thought that many people could fit on one bus before..

Sunday, July 27, 2008

i <3 birds more than bees





Tonight after Bailey left and I had finished my veggie burger and popsicle I was laying in my bed and was hit by a huge urge to just draw, so I decided to draw birds. They're universal, they can be elegant or cute or funny. Whatever

The results being 2 pictures:

1) The fashion of Birds
2) City over the Sea

Now for the cause and effects:

1) Andy has convinced me to write a children's book, because apparently I can write and draw well. I beg to differ
2) Mikey is making me draw a bird eating pizza (peatz) and his name will be Shawmut (LOL). No one gets this other than Mikey and Chris. Fuck everyone

once again, this blog is not abandoned


So I left again unexpectedly for KY to see my family and old friends last week, fucking sue me. It was a nice week of climbing water towers, swimming in lakes, "relaxing", and seeing familiar faces and whatnot. It was a nice change of pace

So i get home yesterday and go to some random hip hop show with Paulina and Sarah. It amazes me at the messes Paulina get ourselves into, we have the best time doing absolutely nothing. We were totally out of place at this show so we left and met up with about 9 people at starbucks. Jim and I both had 2 chilled coffees each and were mad wired the whole night. I didn't realize until last night how much I'd missed being home

Saturday, July 19, 2008

High Hopes

i like to chew my food throughly and there is no way to speed the process or make it go any easier than just simply chewing. Just like a lot of other things in life, you just have to do them to get to the point that you want to be at. I realize this, yes, its just very hard to listen to myself sometimes. I could lay and talk with someone all day about life and give them enough advice to risk sounding 45 but sadly i cant talk to myself.

mad lol

convo via blackberry messenger

Mi​chael Steinborn: God dammit
Mi​chael Steinborn: I can't wait to see beverly hills chihuahua
Mi​chael Steinborn: Wanna go on opening night together? At midnight?
Le​ann Marie: What is wrong with you???
Le​ann Marie: Hahahaha oh yeahh
Le​ann Marie: And send eachother texts about how lame it is
Mi​chael Steinborn: K let's dress up like the dogs
Mi​chael Steinborn: Why would you say its lame
Mi​chael Steinborn: That movie looks compelling
Le​ann Marie: Did you not see the previews all it was was a birthday cake made of singing chihuahuas you lil faggot!
Mi​chael Steinborn: Hahahaha I'm kidding
Le​ann Marie: I know so am I
Mi​chael Steinborn: As soon as I came on I said like "oh my god no"
Le​ann Marie: It will probably be awesome
Mi​chael Steinborn: Hahaha
Mi​chael Steinborn: You're the little faggot
Le​ann Marie: Sike!
Mi​chael Steinborn: You are
Le​ann Marie: Hahah ok if you say so.. I'm just a freak of nature
Mi​chael Steinborn: K gotta go, seeing dark knight for the 2nd time
Mi​chael Steinborn: Hahah freak of nature
Le​ann Marie: Wooo! Have fun fuck ass
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

this blog is not abandoned

While it is true its owner has been away for some time, and the words have lost their usual resting place as a result, this is still a (mostly) happy little blog. Albeit one that is virtually collecting dust.

I sense my writing vacation is nearing its end. Creative thoughts, with the desire to nest in words, are slowly finding their way back home.

My ability to write is inexplicably tied to a certain feeling. A place where I am not too content and carefree, nor am I paralyzed by doubt and festering introspection. And it is not necessarily the median of these excesses either. But it is here, where I am now

I'm done traveling (hopefully) before school starts other than to see my father on Monday for a week. It sort of feels nice to me home safe, although I miss Andy and countless others. mehhh


PA, CT, NY, ME, MA, WA, VA, WV and wherever else I've raged this summer has been amazing.

Have Heart/ Verse/ Foundation/ Hollywood


Four days late, but I'm still making this post because this show just quite simply ruled. Upon arriving I noticed that most of the westside of and a lot of other kids from Indy were there which was cool..

Hollywood played first which was confusing to me because since it was their last show I thought they would probably headline, but they played before everyone except the local band, energy, and hostage calm. There set was insane though, complete madness. Kids just went crazy for this shit. I was standing in the back of the room on top of a couch so I got the full effect of this. There was a wall of people the entire time during their set then during the last song there was a mount an the vocalist came out of the top of this pile pushed up by people mic first. It ruled

Then foundation played, I felt bad because since the crowd reaction for Hollywood was so many kids going so wild a lot of them were tired and hot and went to hang outside and cool off while they played. It kinda bummed me out since foundation is a really good band and this was my first time seeing them. They all have really good stage presence and I just wish more kids would have at least came in to listen to them.

When verse was setting up I was talking to Sean about the lyrics and how I thought they were really deep, because the first time I ever read them I was like "Woah.. did danger Murphy really write these? So deep." He was talking about how he wasn't that amped on played because he didn't think that Nashville really liked them. I had seen them last summer at the same venue and thought they had a decent reaction from people. So they went on to play and all the kids came back in that were outside and went pretty crazy.. I guess this year verse isn't going to have to wait a year and a half for new stuff to "make circulation." LOL

Have Heart's set was slightly disappointing, not because of sound or quality or anything but because there were two songs from the new record that I really had my hopes up on them playing. Pave Paradise and Brotherly Love. Only because since I've been traveling for the past 2 months I can relate a lot and now I'm all restless at home, and Brotherly Love is just so deep and I was telling Pat after the show that I was reading his lyrics on the way home from DC and listening to the songs at the same time and was on the verge of crying. I honestly did care how lame I sounded and luckily he didn't seem to freaked out. Their set was still great though, I cant hold it against them that they didn't play the songs I could tell that they were tired.

After the show we all went to this awesome veg restaurant that I'm guessing is open 24/7 because we didn't leave the place until about 4 in the AM and they still had people coming in to order. I got the best personal pan cheese peatz I've ever had and shared Paulina's hummus and pita bread with her. On the way home I passed out and Lina couldn't drive anymore so we pulled off somewhere in Bowlengreen, KY and slept in a church parking lot. It was a great night