Friday, April 25, 2008

Many of us venture through life without many cares, without really knowing the pain of not being able to eat and having an anxiety attack everyday for almost a week. Yesterday I got my first ulcer ever. Life rules right now.. Not.

I've been tinkering around in my own brain at all the possible things that could happen to me. I've heard a multitude of different stories, and I still listen to every single one of them. Knowing fully well that there is only 2 people that know for certain what's going to happen to me. God and the prosecutor. I've been certain that I'm going to jail and not going to be able to walk in my graduation. I'm certain that all my friends are getting sick of hearing me complain and that everything that could possibly go wrong will. The weather is so perfect outside but, I can't enjoy it. I can't eat or sleep. I can't feel pretty when I dress up anymore. This entire post is going to sound completely irrational to you and more than rational to me. I can't prevent what's going to happen, and this cruel irony struck me at the perfect time in life to prove to me that there is such think as karma. I would love to be able to look back 5 years from now and laugh at how stupid I was, but I can just tell there will be no laughing only the "I learned a good lesson." seriously burned in my head. There aren't really any legitimate exuses that I will be able to use, I will just have to roll with the punches and face my awful music that I never want to listen to again.

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