At the cost of sounding relatively lame I have been going through a phase lately that I just can't shake. A limited number of people know me 'to a T', and those of you who do, have probably noticed that I've been bummed. There are multiple causes for this and some of them are unshareable.
I wouldn't necessarly say that I'm in a funk or morbidly depressed, but today on my way to lunch with Kyle we were sitting there listening to interpol, and niether one of us was talking so I turned it up and started to think. I looked up at his sunroof and sat there looking at his reflection and then looked over at his hand in mine on my lap. I sat there thinking about how happy certain things make me and how everything else it just inatequate. I need to learn more appreciation.
Placing myself in a spectators eyes, I am absolutely protentious. I don't understand why people love me, or why I have such an amazing group of friends. I know living in tons of different places has made me more sopisticated and easier going in the sense of making friends. But, I still don't understand.
I've been stressing out more than ever these days, and wish I would have listened to my mom about growing up. I wish I realized that each year really does get harder. I've been so agitated with myself lately that I am bound to boil the ocean; if things continue the way they're going.
Speaking of the ocean, within the next month I plan to get a side piece. Its going to be a ship in a storm. With the waves crashing down on the ship, and underneath it will say 'lost at sea'.
As to my day, it was only a half day of classes. Which was nice. Not a breath of fresh air or anything but easily made my day better. Kyle and I went to Thai spice and I got pad Thai with an egg roll and he got the same. On our way there a women started crossing the road while we were coming towards her going nearly 50 mph. She was most def blind and Kyle slammed on his brakes, resulting in myself being left scared shitless. The meal was nice, Kyle was nice as well.
I am currently sitting in borders again today. I didn't get anything though, because I just had panera bread with my mom and stepdad. I test drove the bug I wanted to get tonight. Stress the wanted. Its no longer on my list of things to get, its kinda out of the question now. Fuck my life. Its stickshift, and not all it was cracked up to be.
Old interpol is amazing, I must add in order to close this off.